Wenda Watch's Hot Dish Diner

Wenda Watch's Hot Dish Diner http://www.wendawatch.com A fun campy site hosted by Miss Wenda Watch. Come sit a spell in her Hot Dish Diner and get some of the hottest Dish on the web!  Lauyan TOWeb en Wed, 3 Mar 2010 06:46:18 GMT Today's Radio show info and recipes <center>If you would like the information from today's radio show you can click here</center>: http://www.wendawatch.com/topic/index.html#bv000002 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic/index.html#bv000002 Hmmmm? All my life I wanted to be like dolly <center>Now it seems she wants to be like me!!!</center> <center>%SPARKLECOWGIRL% </center> http://www.wendawatch.com/topic/index.html#bv000030 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic/index.html#bv000030 People of Wal Mart <center>To go with the above t-shirt collection I thought you might enjoy looking at this site I found called "The people of Wal Mart." Now ya'll know I don't shop at Wal Mart (Many people say I am "unnatural." I say that being able to buy eggs, a shotgun, tampons and a cell phone while having your hair did and your tires rotated is unnatural!) but I just wanted you to see some of the outfits people wear to shop, why you might even recognize a neighbor or two! Oh! And be sure and read the quotes! LMAO!</center> <center>%SPARKLECOWGIRL% </center> http://www.wendawatch.com/topic/index.html#bv000036 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic/index.html#bv000036 My Old girl group album <center>As many of you know I have been trying to get famous for quite awhile now. Below you can see one of my first attempts at stardom! </center> http://www.wendawatch.com/topic/index.html#bv000032 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic/index.html#bv000032 New Pictures added to Family Album <center>Check 'em out here!</center> <center>%SPARKLECOWGIRL% </center> http://www.wendawatch.com/topic/index.html#bv000024 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic/index.html#bv000024 A Letter to Louise <center>Here is a brilliant study of The Bible and what it really says about homosexuality by a 92 year old, married, grandfather, former Southern Baptist Minister from Texas. What you would THINK a person with that background would say about homosexuality and The Bible is actually pretty different from what he actually finds out. Please share this with as many people as you can to hopefully help end the outrage of a certain group of "Christians" who are using God's Love as a weapon against homosexuals.</center> <center>You can visit his site on line or download "The Letter To Louise" by clicking below I have also included a link to Valerie's Letter, a frightening look at what could be if we don't stop this terror on our community now.</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/topic/index.html#bv000011 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic/index.html#bv000011 Palm Springs Commercial <center>Welp kiddies! Here it is! My commercial entry for The Moxie Project with Lavender Lounge Producer Mark Kliem! What a glorious, glamorous time I had! And Bruce Vilanch is an absolute DOLL! %PSCOMMERCIAL% </center> <center>%SPARKLECOWGIRL% </center> http://www.wendawatch.com/topic/index.html#bv000012 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic/index.html#bv000012 Redneck Fire Alarm <center>Here is an easy, cheap all purpose fire alarm for all you safety, yet frugal minded, folk out there. Another exiting hint of the day from me to you! Oh, and new game up under "Ma Can I have a Quarter:" Dr, Dentist!</center> <center>%SPARKLECOWGIRL% </center> http://www.wendawatch.com/topic/index.html#bv000031 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic/index.html#bv000031 Secret Recipes Finally Up! <center>Well babies I finally did it! I got some of my favorite secret recipes and all time favorites up and posted on the new link to your left titled (what else?) "Secret Recipes." I also created a new page with some fun games including Hillbilly Hangman and Housefly Invasion! To check 'em out just click on the "Mom Can I Have a Quarter?" tab to your left</center> <center>%SPARKLECOWGIRL% </center> http://www.wendawatch.com/topic/index.html#bv000016 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic/index.html#bv000016 WENDA'S TRAVEL: CHEAPEST HOTEL RATES GUARANTEED!! <center>I know times are tough so I put together a little travel site with the cheapest rates around on travel and the lowest hotel rates you will find GUARANTEED! Check it out! </center> http://www.wendawatch.com/topic/index.html#bv000004 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic/index.html#bv000004 Follow Me! <center>%WENDAWINK% </center> <center>Follow me on Twitter honey! God only knows where we'll end up but I am ready to go! %TWITTER% </center> http://www.wendawatch.com/topic/index.html#bv000017 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic/index.html#bv000017 <center>APPETIZERS</center> <center>%PANEL%</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/topic/index.html#bv000033 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic/index.html#bv000033 New math Monday, February 01, 2010 <center>I've never been very good at math but I have been learning a few things lately like GREATER THAN > and LESS THAN < but not much about EQUAL TO =. From what I have heard and seen lately I tried doing some calculations myself and here's a few different totals I came up with</center>: If I listen to the Christipublicans I get this: <center>%FETUSGIF% </center> If I listen to Kathy Griffin I get this: <center>%BUTTERGIF% </center> But if I listen to my heart I get this: <center>%JESUSGIF% </center> http://www.wendawatch.com/topic1/index.html#bv000011 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic1/index.html#bv000011 Blog Plate Special of the day! Civil Miss obedience Wednesday, January 27, 2010 <center>FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE</center> <center>WORLD RECORD ATTEMPTS PART 2 AND 3</center> What: Attempts to set the World Records for Largest Engagement Party and Largest Mass Same Sex Marriage When: Monday 2/1/10 at Noon and Saturday 2/13/10 also at Noon Where: New Mexico Capitol Building (Roundhouse) Who: Reverend Mrs. Wenda Watch Why: Support Domestic Partnership Equality <center>%CIVILVID% </center> Following on the heels of her attempt to create the World's Largest Engagement Ring by surrounding the New Mexico State Capitol Roundhouse in gold lame, local personality Wenda Watch will continue her attempts at World Record setting by trying to set back to back records at the state capitol for Domestic Partnership Equality. At noon on February 1st, Mrs. Watch has asked anyone and everyone wanting to show support for Domestic Partnership Equality to show up and get engaged. Engagement rings will be provided and Mrs. Watch hopes that among the guest speakers and rally signs over 200 couples will not only take the pledge setting the World's Record for the World's Largest Engagement Party but also let the legislature know that New Mexicans demand equality. Next on Saturday, February 12th also at noon Wenda, who was recently ordained a minister by American Marriage Ministries, along with the couples who got engaged on Monday (as well as anyone else wanting to 'take the plunge') will take part in the World's Largest (and illegal!) Same Sex Mass Marriage. Nicknamed Civil Miss Obedience, Wenda will not only marry the couples on the steps of the capitol demanding Domestic Partnership Equality but because it is illegal in New Mexico hopes to not only walk away with the World's Record but earn some jail time in doing so. "All great Americans before us from Henry David Thoreau to the Boston Tea Party Gang to the ACT UP folks have, when the route of peacefully and patiently waiting for what is inherently theirs but denied them anyway hasn't worked practiced some good old American Civil Disobedience and I feel we have wasted enough time debating whether the GLBT community deserves Domestic Partnership Equality. Saying 'these people can have this privilege but that group cannot because they are not like we are' is incredibly Un-American and being the dyed in the wool red white and blue gal that I am, I can no longer sit by and keep quite. If private churches do not want to marry same sex couples that is fine, that is their right but when it comes to our government and allowing everyone equal opportunities and equal rights, I can't believe Domestic Partnership is even in question. So I figured that since I am ordained and able to marry these folks and I think they deserve Equality then I am gonna do it, even if that means being arrested. I'm not sitting in the back of the bus anymore and I'll dump every crate of tea I can get my hands on. I've been called "The Mouth from the South" and everyone is about to see why. I am a peace loving, patient gal-- up to a point and where I come from, according to my watch, it's about 10 minutes past butt kicking time." said Wenda in a recent interview with EQNM. To contact Wenda you can email her at <a href="mailto:%6D%69%73%73%77%65%6E%64%61%77%61%74%63%68%40%67%6D%61%69%6C%2E%63%6F%6D">misswendawatch@gmail.com</a> http://www.wendawatch.com/topic1/index.html#bv000007 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic1/index.html#bv000007 Blog Plate Special of the day! FUX News-I cain't take it no more! Friday, September 04, 2009, 8:19 AM <center>With the past weeks of people fighting, screaming and showing up with guns to Obama rallies and Town Hall meetings I just couldn't figure out what had gotten into people. We are Americans. This is not how we behave. I started snooping around (as usual) and found FOX News ECOURAGING people to act like this. I saw clips of the commentators KIDDING ABOUT KILLING OBAMA! No. This is not who we are. Do people not realize that FOX is owned by an AUSTRALIAN Billionaire that could give two shits about he effects his network has on our country as long as it brings in ratings and money? After snooping around I found HOURS of footage of proven FOX broadcasting lies, opinions in the news and altered footage and pictures. They are LYING to us America and we are the ones suffering! Do you think Bill O'Reilly is out screaming at town hall meetings or taking guns to rallies or fighting with the same neighbors he has lived next two for the past twenty years? Do you think he sleeps at night or tosses and turns because he can't pay the rent, child care and car payments? No. He goes on the air, acts the fool, makes up whatever to twist the story how he wants it to turn out, gets all of us all upset and pissed off, then he goes laughing all the way to the bank in his chauffer driven limo and we are left to spread his hate amongst ourselves while he sleeps like a baby. Now,I am not saying go watch MSNBC either.Or believe what I am saying here. Go to YouTube and search for actual footage and their proven lies. Google it. Ot just forget Fox and spend the time researching the real issues. Like what is Obama's Healthplan really? I don't know. Do you? Do you or is it stuff you've just heard on the news? I am just saying we must stop being force fed our information from sources that put THEIR opinions in OUR news. Let's research and find out the TRUTH for ourselves and then handle ourselves like civilized Americans. Speak out! Act up! Fight for your rights but for God's sake make sure its YOU that feels the way you do and not someone else making you feel that way. And never forget America VIOLENCE is NEVER, NEVER the answer. Ever. Peace.</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/topic1/index.html#bv000003 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic1/index.html#bv000003 Blog Plate Special of the day! Wenda in the lion's den Sunday, September 21, 2008, 11:48 PM <center>Well Miss Wenda put on the biggest pinkest most glitteriest thing she could find, made a big sign that said "God Loves Me" on one side "And Jesus thinks I'm Fabulous!" on the other and headed down to the new Santa Fe Convention Center. %GODLOVES% %JESUSTHINKS% When the people from the Dallas Bible Church holding their hate rally in the guise of Jesus' love approached me and told me I was welcome to come in I told them "I know. Its MY community center. I live here." When they said that they are just here to praise Jesus and "don't hate anyone" I asked then why did their website say that the "Homosexual explosion" had turned Santa Fe into a new Sodomy and Gomorrah and it's river had dried up like the city's morals and they would pray for Santa Fe's sins and when our morals returned the river would flow again. " They SERIOUSLY asked me "What website?" I told them <a target="_blank" href="http://www.revivesantafe.com">www.revivesantafe.com</a> and they just stared at me. This happened more than once! I asked them "Don't you know what this group is?? Haven't you researched who these people that have come into OUR home to tell us how we are living is wrong are??? If they ask you to drink the kool aid; are you going to???" One girl said "but its in the Bible" and I said "Yes, and in the same paragraph in Leviticus saying its a sin it also says that eating shellfish, wearing blended fabrics and having sex with a women while she is menstruating is just as big a sin. Have you done any of those? I believe your "Revive Santa Fe" t-shirt is a cotton-poly blend there. The bible is not a buffet, we don't get to pick and choose what we like and don't like!" No response. (I was really amazed at how little these people really knew. How much, when given the facts, they were unable to back up wheat they were doing there.) Finally when the head honcho came out and again, told me I was welcome inside I told him "I know I am ITS MY COMMUNITY CENTER! I live here! And honey, I just moved from Dallas a year ago and I know how it rolls too." He smiled ands said "Its a great city isn't it?" and I said "Yea, but let me ask you doesn't the Bible say "Pick the plank from your eye before picking the splinter from mine?" "Yes it does" said the Texan "Well apply it" I said. "This city is the oldest in the country. Over 400 years old and we are doing just fine. You go get Dallas cleaned up and sin free THEN come back and see us." %GODVID% Once the line was substantial enough I said so everyone could hear "The real reason I am here is because the suicide rate amongst lesbian and gay youth is extremely higher than any other minority and it is because when life is bad enough and they feel they have no one to turn to and should be able to take comfort in the love of God you people tell them He hates them instead and THAT IS A CRIME! No matter what you do you CAN NOT convince me that God doesn't love me exactly as I am and for you to use Gods love as a weapon against people different that you must be a sin bigger than any other I can think of." Someone said "God DOES love you, he hates the homosexual act!" I said "If God is all love then how can He hate?" They had no answer. It was time to go inside and they again invited me in. I apologized and said I had to go put my "Christ Consciousness" into action and had volunteered to go work on a show for the Santa Fe Recovery Center helping alcoholics and addicts." (Yea I know talk about me playing the martyr card but those people eat that kind of shit up and it shut them up thinking I wouldn't come see what they were about because I was actually DOING something to help others! hee hee) I told them that I hoped they would think about what I had said and to remember the only time Jesus got mad is when he went to church! If nothing else there was a high school girl waiting to go in that I looked over at and she smiled and did tiny hidden waive to me barely moving her fingers. Maybe she will know that God loves her for whoever she is. AND YOU TOO! Okay enough-the newspaper story is below. How they didn't use a picture of me I'll NEVER know!!!! LOL Have a great day!!! <a target="_blank" href="http://www.santafenewmexican.com/SantaFeNorthernNM/Revivalleaders--Mission-is-one-of-love">http://www.santafenewmexican.com/SantaFeNorthernNM/Revivalleaders--Mission-is-one-of-love</a> The email below is an open letter that I sent to Kyle Martin head of Revive Santa Fe which is the group sent up here from Dallas Bible Church (DBC) to 'save' Santa Fe. Dear Mr. Martin, Well I heard we had some out of state visitors to our new convention center and I wanted to go down and welcome ya'll to OUR city like a good hostess should so I put on my prettiest pink dress and went down to MY new convention center to see your Texas group there. Took LOTS of GREAT pictures too! Although it is a clever guise you are using wanting to pray for Santa Fe's river that has "dried up like our morals" And how the "homosexual explosion" has ruined our community unfortunately your concern just doesn't ring true. You see, I moved from Dallas over a year ago and I gotta tell ya Kyle; you really have some nerve thinking OUR city needs help. Not only is our city 400 years old and doing quite well but Kyle honey, we don't even have a GAY NIGHTCLUB in our town. Dallas??? Please. Because I believe God is pure love and therefore cannot hate anything or anyone I'm not always on the look out for cities full of sinners that need savin' but since you do you might want to take the Biblical quote "Remove the timber from your eye before plucking the splinter from mine" and apply it. Unfortunately, looking deeper and knowing from past experience that most of these new Wal-Mart churches' motives (like DBC) and the Zealots that lead it (whom The Bible also tells us to steer clear of) are usually not on the fundamental side so much as they are on the fiduciary me thinks that Dallas just can't support another "mega-church" and upon looking around and surveying the land several bells and whistles went off when asking yourselves two questions: "Where is there a place with 1) wealth and 2) no mega churches? " and "Santa Fe" was the response that came back. Now honey, I believe in free speech and since I want to have the right to live me life the way I like I must respect the fact that you have the right to live yours as you like. But just as I don't come to your house and try and dress you in drag or force you to date a man because I think its right, don't be coming into my home and try and force what YOU think is right on me. You know, when I hear of gay and lesbians teens time and again committing suicide (their suicide rate is disproportionately higher than any other teen group) because at a time in their life when they are already so confused and troubled then to add the confusion of possibly being gay to that and feeling they have nowhere to turn and the only place they may have to find comfort is in God's love and you come along and tell them they don't have that either because God hates them is nothing short of a crime. Using God's love as a weapon against people different than you is, if I believed as you do, probably the greatest sin I can imagine. I know, I know "God loves everybody he hates the homosexual act" as many of your people tried to explain to me as I marched up and down Marcy street with my "God Loves Me and Jesus thinks I'm Fabulous!" sign. Blah Blah Blah. You are still singling out the homosexual as not being perfect whole and complete and just as God made them, which is not true. Being such an avid Bible reader as I am sure you are Kyle certainly you know that the same book of the Bible, Leviticus, that says that homosexuality is a sin also says eating pork or shrimp, shaving, wearing blended fabrics and having sex with a women while menstruating is just as evil a sin. SOOOO, just our of curiosity Kyle, ever get all showered and shaved, slip into a cotton-poly blend shirt and slacks to go eat at Red Lobster and have a romantic evening to help soothe your grouchy wife??? Hmmmmm??? Well that's FOUR in one evening! Us poor gays just have the one sin. (Unless of course WE get cleaned up and go eat Red Lobster with our boyfriends. But that's still only 3 sins since we, as men, don't menstruate and RARELY wear a cotton poly blend! And eating at Red Lobster is kinda questionable too so we might just have the two sins [shaving and gay sex] to your four. ) Jeez! Come to think of it. Maybe we need to be praying for you all. My God! Every day there are millions of middle class straight people in strip malls and road side BBQ stands around the country that are just blindly sinning their way to hell and flinging their Kathy Lee Gifford sports apparel and McRib sandwiches right into the face of God!! The Bible is not a buffet, friend. We can not pick and choose what we want and leave what we don't so if you are gonna pursue this "pray for the gays" thing you better get your act in order quick! Or better off, just admit you don't like fags and quit hiding behind Jesus' robes. Heck, I would respect that a whole lot more than this, I mean at least its honest. Or, as I suspect is the case, just come out of the damn closet and quit taking your self hatred and internalized homophobia out on the rest of us and give me a break because, to me, and I am serious about this what you are practicing is a form of terrorism. Coming into someone else's town and home, uninvited, and deciding that how they are living is wrong and your way is right and then forcing your ideas, concerns and religious beliefs on them while telling them that they need to be saved and that by thinking like you do and acting like you do they will be happier and their city will be better is, quite simply, terrorism and right now there is only one thing the entire country agrees on and that is "We won't let the terrorist win." Go home Kyle. Save YOUR city. Save YOUR soul or better yet be a real Christian and just do the two things Jesus asked of us: Love God with all your heart and love one another and let's leave the judging up to HIM. Have a safe trip back and come back next year for Zozobra. If you are lookin' for somethin' else to pray for Santa Fe about have we got a pagan ritual for you!! XOXO Miss Wenda Watch</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/topic1/index.html#bv000002 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic1/index.html#bv000002 Blog Plate Special of the day! Wenda's Gay 101 with Homo-Work Saturday, July 25, 2009, 1:47 PM <center>Well Hi Babies ! It's me again: your old pal Wenda Watch! Well my Lord what a long hard road it has been! For those of you who go way back with me to my days as cable access queen and host of my very own white-trash cooking show beamed directly from my mobile home to yours it is so good to be back with you again! For those of you I am just meeting allow me to introduce myself. My name is Wenda Watch and I have been involved with the gays now for over 20 years, and really through no fault of my own. What happened was like I said earlier back in the late 80's I was just mindin' my own business, doin' my cooking show when somehow the satellite beam got screwed up and off it shot over San Francisco right into the home of my now dear friend Sister Zsa Zsa Glamour of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. Well she thought my show was funny or campy or somethin' like that (To this day still not real sure why. I was just cookin' my favorite Spam recipes. Nothin funny ‘bout Spam.) Anyway, she asked if I would come to San Fran and do her show Lavender Lounge. Well my husband Burl is on the road truckin' so much and all of the kids is gone, well ‘cept for Goat and he's so busy what with runnin' his tattoo parlor out there in the converted carport garage that he never misses me so I said ‘why not!' Well before I know it I get swept off into the dizzying highs and horrible lows of the queer lifestyle. Party after party star after star. Before I knew what was happening I was whisked off to nowhere else but Hollywood! Just like a slightly larger Lana Turner (who said “who?!”) I was taken to La La Land to be a part of QTN; the first international privately run Queer Television Network! Yes Babies, Miss Wenda was on her way! How thrilling that little ‘ol me was picked by a television network to criss-cross dress America and travel from state to state exploring the wondrous world of drag queens and kings and report back to all of you about all of it. Of course, with all of the love, support and desire that our wonderful country America has to give to welcome diversity and embrace the gay culture that it has, the damn thing went belly up within the year. Well you can imagine my shock and chagrin. There I was already getting signatures on the petition to give me a star on the Walk of Fame (If Donald trump can have one I can too, besides my wigs look better anyway.) when the heel dropped and I was out on my ear stranded in Hollywood. (Burbank actually and honey let me tell you it is a long hike over that hill!) What was a girl to do? Luckily, about this time Burl had pulled through Silver Lake where I was staying (don't ask) in his big rig and was gonna drive me back home to Oklahoma. Well, as we were goin' down I-40 I realized we would be passin' through New Mexico and I had always dreamed of seeing Albuquerque and Santa Fe! Now that I have seen ‘em I'm not quite sure why I had always dreamed that but in any state that is so brown I stick out like some exotic tropical flower I can't help but love it, so I stayed. Got me one of them what they call Casitas in Santa Fe and started lookin' for my gays. Well! You can imagine my shock and horror when snooping around the town so many of the fags back west call Santa Gay that I wasn't able to find even ONE gay bar. Well, there is one but its more like paying a visit to my great aunt Chubby at the retirement home back in Oklahoma affectionately called “God's Little Waiting Room” than it is visiting a gay club. Anyway, when I did run across the occasional gay, lesbian or (thank God!) a tranny I was just dumbfounded to learn they knew nothing of their, your, our fabulous gay heritage and history. No no no! This would not do! I immediately called up my dear friend Ryan at The Voice and I said “Who ever has been passing out gay cards around here is asleep at the wheel! Being gay means SO much more than sleeping with someone of the same sex you barely know and will regret meeting in the morning! It is more than knowing Brittany's precise location of every freakin' moment of every freakin' day. (Jesus can you imagine where that girl would be if she was talented? All this on a whiny voice and Manic Depression. Shit, if that's all it takes my closet should be filled with Grammy's by now!) Anyway, I realized that once again the GLBT community was in desperate need of Miss Wenda's help! Wonder Wenda to the rescue. So here's how its gonna go down kids. I will do my part to help the community by bringing fabulous, famous, wonderful GLBT community members to our dried up little neck of the woods here in New Mexico (Can anyone say Trannyshack Southwest starring Heklina of San Francisco fame? Stay tuned—I've got her comin' with a whole gaggle of Trannys in May!) But you're gonna have to do your part too. I am revoking everyone's gay cards as of now and we are all going back to school! I will be assigning ‘homo-work' for you all each week and the following week we will discuss what we learned and then get our new homo-work for the next week. You may be asked to read a book, download a Shirley Bassey song. (Who said ‘Who?!” See this is EXACTLY what I am talkin' about!) You may be asked to watch a camp classic movie or find out who Harvey Milk is before the big new Sean Penn movie about his life comes out. Eventually I hope to host gay movie night at one of the local theaters where we can all join together in a darken room, finally for once without a mirrored ball hanging from the roof and the smell of poppers hanging in the air. We can all come together in our faggotry, dykeness, and trannydom and bask in the glow of Judy in Oz, or Divine in Baltimore both magical wonderful moments in our Queer history. So-nice to meet ‘cha! If you see me out you'd better say ‘howdy!” Rest up ‘cause schools back in session starting next issue. Oh babies we are gonna have a ball together joyously trudging down the yellow brick road of our incredible GLBT history and heritage. So- stay tuned! I've got so much fun up my sleeve you'd think I was Doug Henning. (Who said “who?!”)</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/topic1/index.html#bv000006 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic1/index.html#bv000006 Blog Plate Special of the day! A Letter Home Thursday, July 23, 2009, 2:12 PM <center>In between shifts, or when the fryer is down I like to take the time and write home to friends and family. Below is one of the grease and tear stained letters for you to read.</center> <center>I wrote this to my dear friend Jack E. Jett upon hearing he was planning on going for the world's record for the longest televised broadcast. Oh Jackie Honey!! The World's Record!!! Finally you will have earned a world record title without the words “Miss” “Tranny” or “Bukkake” in them. I am so proud! The thought of it just brings a tear to my eyes! Well I have some big news! Can you believe it? Here I am heading back home to Wetumpka Oklahoma after bein' thrown out on my ass in Hollywood when out of the blue I get the chance to set up a diner right here in Santa Fe! Well in my off time I have been trying to write for The Voice here in New Mexico. I was also asked about maybe writin' what they call a ‘blog' for my new site, which was donated by my dear friend Zsa Zsa Glamour. Well seein' as how she discovered me when my cable access feed got shot to the wrong satellite and she started airin' my cookin' show out there in San Fran how could I say no? I did however say ‘maybe.' I wanted to look at her website, <a target="_blank" href="http://www.lavenderlounge.com">www.lavenderlounge.com</a> first. Now, let me tell you I am no prude, and the longer George Bush is in office the more I want to rip my clothes off and run across the White House lawn screamin' “Give Me Back My Country!” however I was not quite prepared for the magic that is Lavender Lounge. The main reason being is ever since my husband Burl got drunk and threw up on my computer keyboard I have been forced to do all of my internet browsing at the local library. (As a side note now that Big Sheriff Pete won't let me target practice by shootin' rats at the dump anymore I have instead focused that energy learnin' the computer.) Well, when I tried to pull up the site <a target="_blank" href="http://www.LavenderLounge.com">www.LavenderLounge.com</a> I should have known something was up. I had to disable the firewall, shut down Windows Defender and hack in as an Administrator just to open the site, but I went ahead anyway. Usually Penny Patterson, our local shrew and librarian, has the content filters jacked so high you can't down load the alphabet passed the letter X so I was hopin' it was just her. Anyhoo, once I got a clear shot at the web and got into see ‘La Lounge' for myself I couldn't believe it! You cannot imagine my shock and surprise to find a very well laid out, bright and fun gay man's porn site with some other creative, interesting tid bits to look at in between “appreciating” the pictures and videos. How refreshing. That did it for me and right then and there I decided that I would love to be the filler in Sister Zsa Zsa's porn meatloaf! Why I would be helping socially by sharing my recipes and helpful hints to the public as well as helping physically by giving the tired members' hands a chance to uncramp while reading my writin's and such. Perfect! Of course in my world nothin' stays perfect for long and sure enough just then all hell broke loose. I guess Penny has some kind of alarm system back there behind the check-out desk because just as I heard the sirens I looked up to see her headed my way. Lord, God- she was scootin' down the isle so quick I was afraid a spark from the static electricity her Orthopedic Shoes were causin' would light up one of the dried out old book pages and we'd all be burnt alive, right there in the stacks! (Which, I was afraid, was Penny's plan in the first place.) Well I switched to the decoy tab I had opened earlier featuring my dear friend Betty Butterfield. Luckily a homeless man next to me was knee deep in some Tranny-Porn and Penny got him instead. ***(note to self: call Heklina and remind her to update her site.) Anyway, seein' as this is my first “blog,” ( I guess that's what they call them-‘Blog.' Sounds to me like when of my youngins' has a fever and comes in sayin' “Momb by nose id blogged.” I mean who thought that up? God forbid they name it somethin' purty like “e-spressions: the electronic expression”) I figure before I get to the task I have chosen to tackle with this “blog” (ugh! It's like the sound you make when you step in a sink hole) which is to bitch about the internet, (see I've started already) and maybe share a recipe or two, I figure we had better get reacquainted. Although we haven't been in touch much in the last few years, due to my hectic family life and your alcoholism, you have to know that bein' asked to do this makes me so proud! The thought of it just brings a tear to my eyes! I think it's because I have been feelin' like a real failure lately since neither me nor my family haven't amounted to much. Burl is still truckin' and so far not one of my real kids ever got further along than Uncle Smiley's Trade-School, which I still think is a rip off to this day. Teachin' kids how to repair old Beta-Maxs' and Garbage Disposals and passin' it off as “a steppin' stone to your dream career” to me is just blatant lies. I mean learnin' about fixin' just those two things can only come in so handy. Three years Goat went there and can't even jump start my car if I need. But oooh boy! If a fork gets caught down the drain he is Johnny-On-The-Spot! It breaks my heart to tell him a broom handle can do the same job he spent three years train' on and doesn't charge for the service. And Darlene, my dear dumb-ass daughter Darlene. I know she got her associates degree from El Reno Junior College and was the first Watch to get ANY type of higher learnin' but since her grades were based on the sexual act she was willing to perform on her “professors” to get them [you know ‘B for Blow' ‘A for Anal'] well I just don't think that counts! Now I do have my excuses for why you haven't heard from me in a million moons, and I have been meanin' to sit down and write you a letter several times but a couple things have gotten in my way. First and foremost is since Goat has yet to find a steady income in the Beta Max Revolution he swears is coming (do NOT mention DVD's to him AT ALL), well he has started his own tattoo parlor out under the carport and there is not an ink pen left in the house!! I tried to write you but all that was left in the house to write with was two broken crayons and a Sharpie and by the time the letter was done, well it looked like I was writin' to ya from the crazy house! (And I should know . . . I still have all of momma's letters.) The other reason is we are havin' a bit of a paper shortage around here, but I don't want to go in to that particular problem right now. You know I don't think we've spoken since my big nationwide television debut as hostess of The Q Television Network's Hit Show “Life's A Drag.” You remember QTN? It was one of the only gay television networks ever and with the love and support of America and its never-ending desire to accept change and embrace diversity the damn thing went belly up within a year. Actually it was just about the time I went to work there they went out of business come to think of it. Hmmmmmmmm? Odd. Anyhoo more inside dirt on that later. I only bring it up because we haven't spoken since then. Oh! Remember the day I got discovered? Just like Lana Turner sittin' at the Schwab's Drug Store Soda Counter covered in her pale pink sweater set. (Only I was at the Cum- N-Go covered in tattoo blood and Vaseline but why split hairs?) You were hosting “The Queer Edge” at the time and found me down to the Laundromat. I was just about to drop in my Downy Ball when you came in. People like you, who've been on TV and all, what with the way they dress and have their hair done, they are different than the rest of us. I saw you and just one thought came to mind the moment I laid eyes on you: there is one big homosexual. You burst into the Cum-N-Go and was making a big stink to Lovinda the owner. Something about “the store sign was very misleading” “Tourist Trap” “False Advertising” and “the total lack of truck stops along I-40”. I don't know what all. Well you kept talking about stuff none of us understood when you said somethin about findin' Glory and the Hole in your life. Fillin' your Glory Hole or somethin' (I figured it must be one of them new Spiritual Hollywood religions) well that was enough for Lovinda (a died in the wool Charismatic Pentecostal) and off she went speakin' in tongues and rollin' around. I remember you was just about to shove a pencil under her tongue when I jumped in and grabbed your hands. For the longest time all you could do was stare at my hands. You was admiring the yellow rubber gloves I wear to do my bleachin' and we got to talkin' and you said you thought I would be perfect for this show they were puttin' together. He was out lookin' for the average housewife (little does he know) to travel around the country and discover all of the different drag shows and styles out there. Well I wasn't born yesterday and knew you weren't talking about the car races. I may be from a small town, but the gays pop up everywhere and if you're in a little bitty ol' town like Wetumpka and have half a brain the first thing you do when you get to town is git in your car (or Big Wheel as the case may be) and drive around until you find yourself a gay. In these smaller country towns we tend to grow ‘em skinny, blonde and nervous. You'll know ‘em when you see ‘em. Anyway best advice I can give a married woman: Pull over, introduce yourself, offer him a ride, take him for a coca cola WHATEVER. Before you know it you will have the best friend a married mother of 6 could have. Honey they LIKE to clean. They'll do your hair bettern' anyone down to The Hair Barn, they'll keep you company and help you fold clothes. They don't mind skippin' school to come spend the day with you and watch all your stories together. Them little things don't hardly eat nothin' they's so nervous all the time and FUNNY! Child I can not begin to tell you. There is a couple cautions I should give if you are going to adopt a gay. They are to 1) Hide your prescription pain pills, 2) Don't leave ‘em alone with the satellite remote as Direct TV will only write off one of them $8.99 Playgirl Movie Rentals once and 3) you are just going to have to get over not allowing smoking in the house. It is well worth it! Just put the baby in the carriage and roll 'em out on the porch. The little 'uns need the fresh air and believe me them little queer boys need them cigarettes. More shaky than a tea cup poodle. Anyway, me and my “Bag” at the time (boy/fag: he made it up) had taken me all the way to Oklahoma City a couple of times to see the Legendary Ginger Lamar along with Kitty Bob Aimes and all those girls at The Boom. So I knew what "drag" you was talkin about. Anyway I don't know what hit me but I blurted out: “I'm gonna Criss Cross Dress America!” and you were in love. I remember I told ya “Ya know I've always said "Just because life's a drag doesn't mean it has to be ugly!” and I was hired. You said “Sandra is going to love you!” and I said “Sandra who?” You laughed and said “Sandra Bernhard of course!" She is going to be co-hosting my show with me.” Well I past out right then and there landing me smack dab in the middle of the pile of Goat's blood and ink stained AC/DC t-shirts I had hauled in there to wash. I thought maybe you just meant for me to have a small segment on your show trying to help fill those awkward gaps when Ms. Bernhardt was off stage having her lips re-filled. I thought we might just kind of sit around and chit chat about what's goin' on at The Lazy Hooker Hot Spot and Mobile Home Court that week. You were at first concerned I may not be available what with the baby and family and all but I told you: “Trust me; I will be on that plane out to Hollywood even if Old Sammy Been Llama was drivin' the plane hisself! (P.S.-What a prick huh? Like what ol Been Llama did to all them big old buildings and poor people out there in New York wasn't horrible enough, but now thanks to him with the gas prices have gotten just too damn high! I mean it takes $42.00 just to get the LTD to start for God's sake! It's a '79 and what did we know then? Hell its gotten so bad if I need to get anywhere around town I pretty much have to tie a sheet to Little Donnie's Big Wheel and pray for wind! And before you ask: yes, thank God, I did have the foresight to hide the Big Wheel behind the Cum-N-Go before I went in. Lord! Can you imagine if a big Hollywood Homosexual type like you, Mr. Jett had seen me peddlin' down main street in a day glo Big Wheel carrying a pile of bloody rags? You might have gotten the wrong impression! Anyway I'll fill you in on the details of my rise and fall to and from semi-notoriety in future e-spressions. (“electronic expressions” damn that's good. Its when I come up with stuff like that gets me to wonderin' just what exactly did God have in mind when he decided to plop me down in the middle of a cow field in Oklahoma. Sometimes I get so sick of it all I am ready to just call it quits and go deal black jack in Reno. I know it's a crazy dream but I think I could do it. I've been thinkin' about it a lot lately because so many things are goin' wrong around here.) The worst part of it all is the new baby is a fussin' all the time. See Burl, (you know my husband Burl; you met him right after that embarrassing moment at last year's “Wal Marts presents your local home town “Fashion Week EXXXTRAVAGANZA” and they were just about to reveal the new Kathie Lee Gifford line of Klan Robes and Capri Pants. Remember what an awkward moment THAT was? Oh, Lord-I'll never forget the moment when they revealed her new line of “Mix-N-Match Hate-Wear” (“the only time its okay to mix colors.”) She stood there in front of God and everbody and promised it was all guaranteed 100% kiddy-sweat-shop-factory made. (Its terrible, I know, but they do git them little bitty stitches just right) and then they pulled the curtain and everyone just kind of gasped and mumbled to themselves and shifted around with their heads down and kickin' the dirt. We were all just SO shocked none of us knew what to do! I mean what was she thinking? An entire collection of Klan Robes you could buy right off the rack and there it was, my God, right in front of us all to see: not a XXXL in the lot!!! What did she think all those XXX's were for in EXXXTRAVAGANZA anyway?? Decoration? Personally I can NOT stand the racist M.F.ers (pardon my French) we got around here but that is not the point. The point is to know your market Kathie! It's basic Economics 101. If you are going to bring a clothing line from California any further East than Arizona you might as well save the Mediums for your petite collection and start gittin' little Pepe' to stitchin' XXXX's as fast as he can. See- that's what happens when these health-nut California types come to town. Suddenly everyone's all super self conscious about how they look and they start actin' stupid like questioning takin' fourths at The Golden Corral. Its ALL you can eat people! Not AS MUCH AS YOU WOULD LIKE TO eat. Hell, if I know we're goin' Corral'n for lunch I just clear my schedule for the rest of the day. I know better. I usually leave there about as close to strokin' out as I ever hope to be and just plan on being comatose and immobile until tomorrow's breakfast at least. Yep, Californians hit town and pretty soon the next thing you know they're expectin' you to pay hard earned money for WATER! For WATER! Lord I thought I'd never see the day. Besides- Californians ain't nothin' but Oklahomans with the red dirt washed off ‘em. Anyway, back to my husband Burl,well as you know we are on a real tight budget what with his war wound and havin' to get the prosthetic and all. See he gets to havin' one (or twelve) too many Coors and ends up passin' out all over town and forgettin' where he went and left his fake leg at! Lord after three you'd think either someone would have found one and turned it in for the reward or he would have learned to tie a rope to it when he goes out to the Shanty for Chicken Night. But oh no! No such luck for your Miss Wenda. Personally I think he's been throwin' them into Old Mullvey's Pond if you ask me. I tell you what them prosthesis thingies are NOT cheap believe you me. So we are already scrapin' by as it is but then Last Sunday I wake up not only to find he's passed out and legless again but he's gone and drank all the diaper money! So this week here I am havin' to wrap the baby in old newspapers to keep him from peein' all over everything. I'd let him just go naked but Lord that kid can pee more than a rabid cat so I wrap him in newspaper. I know that sound horrible but I did start with the better quality paper I could find around here like I always use the Parade first and the motel stationary I take whenever we go to Branson for the shows. (See this is why I was out of paper to write you –but I don't want to get into that) Well you can just imagine that the newspaper gets that poor little baby boy all red and rashy and just as mean as spit. And then since I still have to try and save some money, by the time I get done with my coupon clippin', usually for diapers, how's that for irony? there ain't much left to use. Lord I can hardly lift my head to get another drink of beer I'm so tired of it all. And another baby to handle! I am just not up to it. I mean do YOU think it's bad I haven't named him yet? Its not that I don't love it, I mean him, it's just that I have got so much else to do that namin' him keeps gittin put to the bottom of the pile! Hey! Pyle! Maybe I'll call him Pyle; just like that Gilligan character on the TV. Maybe out in Hollywood I'll meet him and git his autograph and we'll hang it over his crib! Little Gilligan Pyle. . .wait, what?) Good Lord it is funny how things work. Like the fact that you and I had known each other years before when I was first married and you were my first skinny blonde gay. Of course I didn't recognize you after all these years all cleaned up and successful. Talkin' like this to you now makes me remember those care free days when I first met you. Member our mornin' talks when we'd sit across from one another on the steps to our adjoining' trailers with me sippin' my coffee? I had just woke up and was still pullin' Mr. Sandman out of my eyes and you over there on your step just a shakin' and gaggin' hung over to beat the band and doin' your best to try and sip down some old white lightnin' Daddy made back before he blew himself up. I kept some around just for you and your Monday mornings, and as a drain cleaner in emergencies. I'd sit there and you'd tell me about your big weekends out to the big city and goin' to the men's bars and sleepin in park toilets and I don't know what all! Lord, I thank God every time I get down on my knees for the day I met you. (And between you and me I seem to be on my knees a lot lately. Seems I am either always scrubbin' these floors or have'n to pleasure Skeet every Saturday like clock work and then there's the crawlin' around afterward tryin' to find out where his legs rolled off to—sometimes it feels like I git on my knees and talk to God more than Jimmy Swaggard after a night with a collection plate full of money and a church van full of hookers.) I will never forget the day you pulled up next to my trailer lot in your van. Remember that old thing? It was the van you had stolen from your Daddy after he found you in bed with his favorite huntin' dog and your uncle Little Ray- Ray. You asked if you could come and stay awhile. It doesn't seem that long ago that I was barely pregnant with number three, Peggy Jean, and you were puttin' yourself through Mr. Jacquie's House of Femme Quoiffures Beauty School by blowin' hair out at the Old Folks home durin' the day and blowin'truckers off 1-40 at night. Oh the stories you'd tell! (By the way- I have been meanin' to ask you-did they ever find the b-o-d-y? Have you ever heard anything about that? I watch Unsolved Mysteries ever now and again just to see if maybe. . .) oh dear friend I have missed you. Have you missed old Wenda? Well I'm getting weepy here so I better say goodbye. Lot 42 sure is empty without you. PLEASE WRITE SOON. Let's keep in touch here, every week. I'll update you about the goins' on in my world and as usual I got a few bones to pick as well. So we can just hem and haw all we want. I would love to get a real letter or two in the mail from you but if you need to get a hold of me quickly you can at <a href="mailto:%6D%69%73%73%77%65%6E%64%61%77%61%74%63%68%40%67%6D%61%69%6C%2E%2E%63%6F%6D">misswendawatch@gmail..com</a> just send me an “e-spression©” any time. (Okay! Okay! I'll drop it!) Oh! Damn it! I gotta run--the baby's just peed through the last page of my Sears Catalog and the only thing I can think of to do now is to either just go ahead and sit him in the cat box or start peelin' the labels off the canned goods. See. . .I ain't kiddin when I say “Write SOOON!” (I need the paper!) Before I go though: Honey, answer me this: How does someone get to a point in their life where they are frantically trying to find the last ink pen their convict son has yet to drain to tattoo his friends so she can write down which can of food is which because she has had to peel the labels to diaper their children? It all just snuck up so slowly its not until its all too far gone that you look up and say “Now how in the hell did I get here?” Oh well. This new change to the Southwest may just be the charge my life needs! Oh the baby! Damn it! Now-Where in the hell did I put down that Sharpie?? Love to you! XOXO Wenda</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/topic1/index.html#bv000009 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic1/index.html#bv000009 Blog Plate Special of the day! Trannyshack Farewell Performance Thursday, September 04, 2008, 10:00AM <center>%TRANNYFAREWELL%</center> Well the amazing underground club and San Francisco's longest running drag show, Trannyshack, has come and gone. My dear friend Heklina was sweet enough to invite me out to San Francisco to be one of the "command performances" she featured with her last three shows at The Stud. I was honored to get to perform along side such amazing talent as FOUR past Miss Trannyshack title holders as well as the incredible Rentecca! The video is not the greatest quality as it was shot over the heads of the HUGE crowd from the back of the room but you can get to see about as well as everyone else there did. I had sucha great time and a huge "Thank you" goes out to Heklina for allowing me to perform on that stage one last time. Was it REALLY 12 years ago that I first performed there??? Wow! I look terrific! I just wish I got a picture with Heklina! Where is she? Oh yea, in the back counting all her money! <center>Here is another clip from a viewer closer in the crowd. %HEKLINAFAREWELL% Here I am backstage amongst the glitter, glamour and what appears to be a glob of old lube. Hmmm, must be Rentecca's %BACKSTAGE% Here is a former Miss Trannyshack (and the first genetically female one too) as well as my good buddy Michael. %MEANDMICHAEL% I made so many new friends!!! %PRETTYPRETTY% Rent, honey. . .you are HUGE! %MEANDRENT% Just two simple girls out on a Tuesday night for some fun! Me and Rentecca. %MEANDRENT2%</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/topic1/index.html#bv000004 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic1/index.html#bv000004 Blog Plate Special of the day! Found some old footage Tuesday, May 27, 2008, 11:00 AM <center>Babies! Lord more and more of my past life seems to be resurfacing and I couldn't be more thrilled! Unlike so many other aspiring actresses these days I have yet to make a sex tape (which probably explains why I am still not famous!) but I have made some television and film that I can share with everyone without first askin' the yougins' to leave the room. This here is what they call in the biz a "sizzle reel". It highlights all of your past work. I am stealing my dear sweet heart Andrew Scott's sizzle reel as I happen to appear in it here and there. He produced the fabulous talk show "On Q Live" and I had the honor to co-host the show for a week. Enjoy and there is MUCH more to come so keep checking back. %QLIVE%</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/topic1/index.html#bv000005 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic1/index.html#bv000005 Blog Plate Special of the day! Tranny-Insanity! Monday, May 19, 2008, 1:30 PM <center>Well it has come and gone and it was too much fun to even be believed! The Trannyshack girls made the past weekend an enormous success!! Now don't worry babies I will be posting lots of videos and pics of all of the events but for now let this little video tide you over. This is Matthew Martin as Baby Jane. He appeared this week in Santa Fe and absolutely brought the house down AFTER the real show ended and we ended up crashing a Cajun Crawfish Boil happening at Second Street Brewing Company across the street from Backroads Pizza where the show was. Well walking in with 7 drag queens (5 of whom where all over 7 feet tall!) was a bit scary but leave it to Miss Martin to pull a stunt out of her hat to rival one of the best scenes in "Priscilla Queen of the Desert." Before we even knew what was happening we look over and the broad is on stage with the Zitago band singing "All of Me" to beat the band!! We11 that made the entire room, rednecks and trannys alike, stand and cheer for this amazing performer and the rest of that incredible night is history! Here he is at San Francisco's Metro as his legendary Baby Jane Hudson. Go Baby Go Baby Go! %BABYJANE% And here is a preview for Matthew's upcoming film: Baby Jane %BJPREVIEW% Now let's talk about Peaches! What a doll. So sweet, so SPOOKY! Her Midnight Mass is still going strong in San Fran. Here's a peek: %PEACHES% Rentecca: I have known this gal for years and am always amazed at what she will come up with next. Here is one of her performances at Trannyshack %RENTECCA% Heklina was charming, funny and such a wonderful hostess. Here she is doing the Trannyshack song: %SHACK% And Cockatelia? Well she stopped the show with her tortilla number but I can't find any video of her so you'll just have to wait until I upload the Trannyshack Southwest video. Sorry babies but check back soon for pics and videos of the entire event!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/topic1/index.html#bv000001 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic1/index.html#bv000001 Blog Plate Special of the day! Queen Cake Recipe A fun twist on an old Mardi Gras classic! http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page1.html#bv000190 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page1.html#bv000190 My cooking recipes ! Pantyhose Crawfish Boil You know a recipe involving pantyhose has GOT to be a fvorite of mine. Just make sure they are un-used. PLEASE! http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page2.html#bv000193 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page2.html#bv000193 My cooking recipes ! Groundhog's Day Cupcake These won't last long enough to cast a shadow! http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page4.html#bv000181 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page4.html#bv000181 My cooking recipes ! Ground Hog Recipe You can eat a groundhog, but pigs are easier to catch! http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page5.html#bv000184 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page5.html#bv000184 My cooking recipes ! Bacon Apple Pie Easy as can be and deeee-lish! http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page6.html#bv000175 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page6.html#bv000175 My cooking recipes ! Egg and bacon Ice Cream <center>I don't understand a word they are saying but thought you might want to give it a shot. Holler if you do. I'd LOVE to come over and try it!</center> <center>%BACONICECREAM% </center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page7.html#bv000172 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page7.html#bv000172 My cooking recipes ! Hot Beef Sundae Just shut up and try it. http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page8.html#bv000178 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page8.html#bv000178 My cooking recipes ! Yankee Doodle Casserole <center>An all time classic!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page9.html#bv000124 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page9.html#bv000124 My cooking recipes ! Turkey Carcass Soup <center>A delicious way to use that leftover Christmas Turkey!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page10.html#bv000169 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page10.html#bv000169 My cooking recipes ! Fishstick Pie <center>For all ya'll budget minded folks this here is one of my faves! You get a whole lotta meal for very little bucks!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page11.html#bv000166 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page11.html#bv000166 My cooking recipes ! Okie Caviar <center>Here's how to get your New Years luck in a delicious recipe! Serve it with a spoon or with chips its delish!!!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page12.html#bv000163 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page12.html#bv000163 My cooking recipes ! gingerbread double wide re-create your home as a winter wonderland dessert everyone will love! And it will keep the kids out of your hair for at least 10 minutes! http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page13.html#bv000157 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page13.html#bv000157 My cooking recipes ! hostess snowball ornaments the nice thing about these is if you are too broke to buy real ornaments for the tree make these, use them on the tree and then serve them Christmas day.There are so many preservatives in them no one will notice they have been out for a month. Just keep the cat out of the tree! http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page15.html#bv000160 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page15.html#bv000160 My cooking recipes ! egg noggy latte cookies <center>So good, they'll become a family favorite!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page16.html#bv000154 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page16.html#bv000154 My cooking recipes ! Armadillo turkey So good you'll be thankful to ME this year! http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page17.html#bv000097 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page17.html#bv000097 My cooking recipes ! armadillo eggs The perfect pre-Armadillo Turkey treat! http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page18.html#bv000116 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page18.html#bv000116 My cooking recipes ! armadillo eggs (man style) This here is how the boys like to cook 'em. More meat, more cheese and an open flame! http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page19.html#bv000145 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page19.html#bv000145 My cooking recipes ! Armadillo Potatoes So good they'll make you want to curl up and die right in the middle of the road! http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page20.html#bv000142 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page20.html#bv000142 My cooking recipes ! Dr. Pepper Ham I was breast fed on dr. Pepper and use it any chance I get in my recipes! http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page21.html#bv000148 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page21.html#bv000148 My cooking recipes ! dr. pepper salad <center>A country favorite but be careful bringing it to family dinners. Your Aunt might get upset everyone eats this and not her cranberry salad. I know mine did!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page22.html#bv000125 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page22.html#bv000125 My cooking recipes ! EZ Cherry Pie This one if for the kids! http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page24.html#bv000079 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page24.html#bv000079 My cooking recipes ! Carrot finger food Scary and healthy! http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page26.html#bv000037 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page26.html#bv000037 My cooking recipes ! eyeball candy Tastes like a peanut butter cup! http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page27.html#bv000009 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page27.html#bv000009 My cooking recipes ! Snack-O-Lantern SOOOOO cute! http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page28.html#bv000058 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page28.html#bv000058 My cooking recipes ! Apple Bites Take a bite out of them before they take a bite out of you! http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page30.html#bv000046 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page30.html#bv000046 My cooking recipes ! cheese fingers Delish! http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page31.html#bv000067 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page31.html#bv000067 My cooking recipes ! creepy caprese Well faaaancy! http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page33.html#bv000017 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page33.html#bv000017 My cooking recipes ! Chick-fil-a sandwich As a HUGE right-wing, Focus on the Family, conservative supporter I will not give my money to a company that they will turn around and use against me SO---I ripped off their recipes so i could make them myself and put the money to better use, like helping people rather than suppressing them! things like that ya know? http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page34.html#bv000001 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page34.html#bv000001 My cooking recipes ! Chuck house chicken fried steak <center>Ooooh baby there ain't nothin' bettern' this! Now they don't give out their secret recipe but I tried my best to copy it! I also have put their website below so you can see ALL the goodness this place offers. When in OKC check 'em out but in the mean time enjoy these!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page35.html#bv000106 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page35.html#bv000106 My cooking recipes ! Mom's Tea Super Simple and Delicious (I think.) No one has ever got to try any! http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page36.html#bv000107 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page36.html#bv000107 My cooking recipes ! Chuck House Creamy garlic dressing This is soooo good on iceberg lettuce right from the salad bar! Just bring mints! http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page37.html#bv000108 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page37.html#bv000108 My cooking recipes ! squash casserole Mom and her best friend and my second mom, Nancy Talley, used to make this every summer at our cabin on Cedar lake with home grown yellow squash. http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page38.html#bv000109 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page38.html#bv000109 My cooking recipes ! Hello Dollys <center>The best dessert ever.</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page39.html#bv000110 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page39.html#bv000110 My cooking recipes ! zozobra cookies <center>Wonderful for feista and using some rum you can burn your own old man Zozobra!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page40.html#bv000111 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page40.html#bv000111 My cooking recipes ! trixie treasure's enchiladas <center>My chicken green chile enchilada recipe enhanced by Trixie with SPAM and Velveeta!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page41.html#bv000112 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page41.html#bv000112 My cooking recipes ! bacon explosion <center>This recipe is copywritten so the website of the owners is below. The all time meat lovers recipe. Because this is not my recipe please sue them for the triple bypass and not me!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page42.html#bv000113 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page42.html#bv000113 My cooking recipes ! hamburger cupcake cookies <center>Lord God if you are gonna serve these to the kids make sure its before noon, on a Saturday and somewhere the kids can get outside to play as the sugar content in these is gonna last a good six to seven hour stretch!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page43.html#bv000114 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page43.html#bv000114 My cooking recipes ! cow udder eclairs <center>If you are gonna make these you'll find that using Nair to remove the extrqa hairs off the udder is a wonder! Just be sure and rinse the udder well before cooking. I didn't get all the nair off the first time and after I came out of the coma I learned my lesson!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page44.html#bv000115 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page44.html#bv000115 My cooking recipes ! 7 Layer Super Bowl Dip <center>Just go ahead and make two of these as the boys are gonna want seconds!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page45.html#bv000117 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page45.html#bv000117 My cooking recipes ! cow pie mine field <center>Alternate recipe name and directions when respectable company like the Preacher or Avon lady come by below.</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page46.html#bv000118 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page46.html#bv000118 My cooking recipes ! ray ray's cow pie pork chops <center>Don't let the name fool ya! These are delish!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page47.html#bv000119 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page47.html#bv000119 My cooking recipes ! cow pie <center>Cute and delicious!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page48.html#bv000120 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page48.html#bv000120 My cooking recipes ! roadkill ragout <center>A delicious dinner made with free meat! How could you go wrong?</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page49.html#bv000121 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page49.html#bv000121 My cooking recipes ! kitty litter cake <center>The kids will love this dessert and its great to bring to church socials just to see the reactions!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page50.html#bv000122 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page50.html#bv000122 My cooking recipes ! twinkie souffle <center>Don't judge it till ya try it. This one is a bit complicated to save it for company!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page51.html#bv000123 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page51.html#bv000123 My cooking recipes ! make your own gummi bears! <center>Say "No!" to those expensive Circle K prices and make your own!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page52.html#bv000126 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page52.html#bv000126 My cooking recipes ! spam shake <center>Full of protein and fu! Add a little vodka if you like and I think you'll have covered four of the five food groups!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page53.html#bv000128 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page53.html#bv000128 My cooking recipes ! pork and beans cake <center>A dessert for all your friends suffering with swine flu! Its a real great "Feel Better" gift and includes the theme! </center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page54.html#bv000129 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page54.html#bv000129 My cooking recipes ! make your own A-1 sauce <center>Recipes for these touch economic times.</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page55.html#bv000130 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page55.html#bv000130 My cooking recipes ! bacon banana waffle sandwich <center>Don't ask, just eat. You will love it!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page56.html#bv000131 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page56.html#bv000131 My cooking recipes ! yukon late night drinkin' snack <center>Again, don't ask, just eat. You'll love it!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page57.html#bv000132 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page57.html#bv000132 My cooking recipes ! make your own bran flakes <center>Saving you and your family money so you can spend it on more necessary thing like NASCAR tickets. </center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page58.html#bv000133 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page58.html#bv000133 My cooking recipes ! white trash 'ritas & ta kill ya sunrise <center>Drink at your own risk!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page59.html#bv000134 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page59.html#bv000134 My cooking recipes ! make your own girl scout thin mints <center>Be sure and buy a box or two to support the girls but when they aren't out sellin' them and you just gotta have a Thin Mint now you can make your own!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page60.html#bv000135 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page60.html#bv000135 My cooking recipes ! drunk chickens <center>The only way to grill chicken: DRUNK!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page61.html#bv000136 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page61.html#bv000136 My cooking recipes ! bologna bumps <center>After a cup of coffee and a smoke my neighbor's little girl, Vonda mae, just loves these!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page62.html#bv000137 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page62.html#bv000137 My cooking recipes ! tangwich <center>Just when you thought there was nothing in the house to eat!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page63.html#bv000138 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page63.html#bv000138 My cooking recipes ! jellied moose nose <center>This is for my Canadian friends and all you gals who have ever been faced with some free moose road kill and just didn't want to waste all that nose meat.</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page64.html#bv000139 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page64.html#bv000139 My cooking recipes ! ginger bread mobile home <center>And may all of your Christmases be white--trash!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page65.html#bv000140 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookingrecipeste/page65.html#bv000140 My cooking recipes ! Recipes <center>If you are looking for the recipes from the radio show you can go here</center>: http://www.wendawatch.com/cookbookentries/index.html#bv000002 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookbookentries/index.html#bv000002 Radio Show Information Bacon and Egg Ice Cream <center>%BACONICECREAM%</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookbookentries/index.html#bv000009 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookbookentries/index.html#bv000009 Radio Show Information white trash christmas tree <center>Can't afford a tree this year?? Well pull out all them old Mountain Dew cans you been saving in big black garbage bags out on the front lawn that you've been meaning to take into recycle for the extra money and make yourself a tree!! </center> http://www.wendawatch.com/cookbookentries/index.html#bv000007 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookbookentries/index.html#bv000007 Radio Show Information 200 Helpful Household hints 1. Remove a broken key from a lock. Put some super glue on broken off part, insert, hold a few seconds and pull. 2. Remove a broken light bulb. Stick a bar of soap into jagged edges, use soap as handle. 3. Remove a stubborn screw. Heat with a soldering iron for a few seconds first. 4. Protect children from sockets. Keep a piece of electrical tape over them when not in use. 5. Good glass door safety tip. Put a BIG decal on the glass and patio doors. 6. Keep nails from splitting wood. Blunt sharp end of nail before you use by hitting with hammer. 7. Repair small holes in screen. Plug holes with clear nail polish, let dry, repeat until filled. 8. Straighten warped phono records. Place record between two sheets of glass, let sit in sun for a while. 9. Best way to clean phono records. Dip in solution of detergent and water, rinse and wipe dry. 10. Make your own fireplace logs. Roll newspapers up tightly in shape of logs. 11. How to remove oil from a driveway. Cover with sand let stand for a few days, then sweep off. 12. Keep fish hooks from rusting. Stick them in a cork and submerge in some baking soda. 13. Make sandpaper last longer. Back sandpaper with masking tape. 14. How to revive old razor blades. Rub them back and forth inside a drinking glass. 15. Remove road tar from cars. Sodium bicarbonate on a damp cloth. 16. Remove labels from bottles and jars. 17. Cut glass without a glass cutter. Use tin snips and cut under water, smooth rough edges off with knife blade. 18. Easy to unglue stamps and envelopes. Put in freezer for a few hours then flip off with knife blade. 19. Get water out of your watch. Strap watch to light bulb, turn on for a few minutes. Water drops will form on glass. Open up and wipe off. 20. Prevent snow sticking to shovel. Coat shovel with car wax. 21. Tighten your hammer handle. Soak in used engine oil for a day. 22. Low cost laminating -EASY. Cover article with clear contact (cling film) paper. 23. Open that stuck zip. Spray the stuck zip with shaving foam. 24. Remove paint from auto. The product to clean paint from your car is Benzol. 25. Increase your petrol mileage. Put 4oz of benzol to each ten gallons of petrol to increase mpg. 26. How to renew car batteries. Dissolve 1oz of epsom salts in warm water and add to each cell. 27. Easily untie a knot in a chain. cover the knot generously with cold cream. 28. Loosen those tight shoes. Wad some damp newspapers into shoes and leave for a few days. 29. Make shoes slip proof. Take scissors and scratch crisscrosses on the soles. 30. The ideal pin cushion. Use a bar of soap, makes sewing easier, needle just slides through. 31. Make your own metal polisher. Take blackboard chalk and rub into cloth, then rub on metal. 32. Good dog and cat repellent. Place mothballs in areas. They will avoid it. Animals hate mothball odour. 33. When your pet has no appetite. Try a saucer of beer. It.s known to perk up the appetite. 34. Easy to rid pets of fleas. Put a foam rubber bed in the pet.s bed - fleas hate it. 35. Quick ways to press ties. Hang in bath while you take a shower - steam takes wrinkles out. 36. How to remove staples. An old nail clipper works fine for removing staples. 37. Eliminate odours from disposal. Throw a lemon in it and let it be ground up. 38. Keep salt moisture free. Put pieces of blotting paper in shaker. It will absorb moisture. 39. Simple eye glass cleaner. Vinegar diluted in water makes fine eyeglass cleaner. 40. Easy clean glass doors and mirrors. Just rub with damp newspaper - they will shine. 41. Easily reduce ashtray smell. Keep a small amount of baking soda in ashtrays at all times. 42. Messless painting from a bucket. Punch several holes around rim of can with small nail. 43. Take lumps out of paint. Cut a piece of screen to fit inside of can or bucket, it will float to bottom taking lumps with it. 44. Keep bugs out of paint. Pour a little insect repellent into the can - it does the trick. 45. Prevent flowers from fading. Use a few drops of chlorine bleach in water, add an aspirin for life. 46. A simple roach formula - IT WORKS! Crumble cigarette butts in water, let dry then spread in roach areas. 47. Save painting clean up time. Cover roller tray with aluminium foil then just throw away. 48. A novel paint can cover. Use plastic lid from a coffee can. 49. Keep piano keys looking new. Keep cover open, ivory turns dark if exposed to darkness. 50. How to remove grease from rugs. Pour ample amount of baking soda on it, brush in, let stand for a day and vacuum off. 51. Destroy desire for nicotine. Take before breakfast, a half teaspoon of rochelle salts and cream of tartar. 52. Destroy desire for alcohol. Mix goldthread with gold seal in a tea. It creates a violent taste for alcohol. 53. Excellent insomnia formula. One tbs powdered milk, 2 tbs honey, 1 tbs brewers yeast, stir into cup of warm milk and take before retiring. 54. Famous diet formula plan. Mix 1 tbs safflower oil to 2 tbs grapefruit juice, take before meals. 55. The $25 beauty facial. Spread milk of magnesia over face, let dry, cover again, let dry, remove with damp cloth, then apply some warm olive oil, then apply some ice cold witch hazel. 56. How to improve your IQ. Hydrocotyle asiatica teas are a noted brain food. 57. Make pantyhose last longer. One tbs alum, 1 quart water, rinse, let dry, then wash with soap, rinse and dry. 58. Remove blood stains from carpet. Sponge immediately with cold water, then use a bit of soap, rinse and dry. 59. Make your guitar really shine. Rub some toothpaste on, let dry then buff it. It will shine! 60. Keep a burn from blistering. Apply ice cubes to the burn immediately. 61. Remove ink stains from carpet. Apply a paste of milk and cornstarch, let stand a few hours and brush off. 62. Dry shampoo your pet. Rub baking soda into fur and brush out. Will smell great. 63. Put a shine on your windows. Brush with nylon stocking, use blackboard eraser to shine. 64. Unwrinkling plastic materials. Heat ironing board with iron, lay materials on, smooth with hands. 65. Easy needle threading. Dip tip of needle into clear nail polish and let dry. 66. How to clean your ties. Put tie in jar with some carbon tetrachloride, shake, take out and let dry. 67. Easy clean your nail file. Press apiece of tape onto file, pull off. Removes all dirt. 68. How to remove scorches. Wet scorched area and cover with cornstarch, brush off when dry. 69. What to do if you oversalt food. Drop a potato or two into it. Absorbs the oversalt. 70. Watermelon ripeness test. Look for a creamy surface underneath the melon. 71. How to freshen stale nuts. Stick them in the oven for 15 minutes at 250 degrees. 72. How to destroy fish smells. Rub butter on your hands or wherever smell is to be removed. 73. How to destroy onion smells. Dampen hands and rub bicarbonate of soda over them. 74. Keep and use overripe bananas. Mash and freeze for making cakes and biscuits. 75. How to boil a cracked egg. Add a dash of vinegar to the water. 76. How to make mocha coffee. Instead of milk or cream try some chocolate milk. 77. Easy boiled egg peeling. Keep lid on for a few minutes after boiling, pressure causes shell to fall off. 78. Eliminate popcorn duds -fast. Freeze it first then it will all pop. 79. Easy clean kitchen windows. Add starch to water and clean with a piece of newspaper. 80. Easy clean silverware - the best. Use baking soda and damp cloth, clean, rinse and let dry. 81. Vegetable for liver and prostrate. Beets. 82. Fruit soothes intestinal tract. Papaya. 83. A fruit for arthritic gout. Cherries 84. An appetiser fruit - GOOD Pineapple. 85. Fruit for stomach. Coconut. 86. A fruit for constipation. Raw apples. 87. A fruit high in iron. Strawberries. 88. Fruit for neutralising acid. Lemons. 89. A fruit healthful for kidneys. Watermelon. 90. A fruit fine for the nerves. Bananas. 91. Two fruits thought anti-tobacco. Apples and grapes eaten raw. 92. A fruit thought anti-cancer. Figs. 93. Vegetable good for the kidneys. Celery. 94. Vegetable that.s antibiotic. Garlic. 95. Fruit to tune blood vessels. Oranges. 96. Vegetable for fresh breath. Parsley. 97. Ingredient good for the heart. Honey. 98. A vegetable good for the eyes. Carrots. 99. A good source of iodine. Kelp. 100. A vegetable with high vitamin C . Green peppers. 101. How to shine your refrigerator. Use bicarbonate of soda on a wet sponge. 102. How to remove a hot cake pan. Use clothes pins. 103. Keep windshields frost free. Apply solution 1 part vinegar to 3 parts water over windshield. 104. Make dry cell batteries last longer. Seal in plastic bags, wrap in aluminium foil, keep in refrigerator. 105. Remove wax from candle holders. Freeze holders in refrigerator and it will just peel off. 106. Prevent kitchen stools from slipping. Put rubber tips from crutches on bottom of legs. 107. Rid scratches from plastic watches. Use cotton bud dipped in nail polish remover, rub over face, scratch disappears. 108. Excellent lubricant for appliances. Put a drop of glycerine in gears - makes an excellent lubricant! 109. Keep garbage bags from slipping. Use 3 or 4 clothes pins, keeps them from slipping. 110. How to clean glassware. Clean with stale tea. If they spot, soak in buttermilk, let dry and wipe off. 111. How to clean carved furniture. Use an old tooth brush to clean then use furniture polish on brush. 112. Remove ink from varnished furniture. Rub with soft cloth filled with equal parts vinegar and linseed oil. 113. Remove mildew smell from luggage. Put a bar of soap in luggage before storing. 114. Remove smoke, grease from woodwork. Paint wood with solution of starch and water, when dry rub off. 115. Really shine your kitchen floor. Add some sour milk to your rinse water, it will shine! 116. How to clean rust from chrome. Rub it with aluminium foil. 117. How to really clean enamel. Use a paste of salt and vinegar then wipe off. 118. Remove shoe polish from clothing. Use carbon tetrachloride or rubbing alcohol. 119. Remove cigarette stains from china. Rub it with a cork that has been dipped in salt. 120. Make your own ink eradicator. Mix one part liquid bleach to ten parts water. Works great! 121. Make your appliances really shine. Rub them over with rubbing alcohol, they will stay shining. 122. Remove stains from coffee cups. Rub with salt and vinegar. 123. Make your own furniture polish. Use two parts olive oil to one part vinegar. Have it warm while using. 124. Make your own silver polish, Tooth paste or baking soda makes an excellent silver polish. 125. A really good copper cleaner. Use a paste of salt and vinegar. 126. To clean your diamond rings. Use toothpaste with an old tooth brush, rub rinse and let dry. 127. Clean tarnished gold and silver. Rub with paste of water and baking soda, rinse and let dry. 128. How to make good jewellery cleaner. Clean with a solution of one teaspoon ammonia and one cup of water. 129. Reset stone in your jewellery. Put clear nail varnish in the base, set the stone in and let dry. 130. Prevent costume jewellery from tarnishing. Put a thin coat of transparent nail polish over it. 131. Good cleaning aid for dishwashers. Add some vinegar to the dishwasher. 132. Cure scratches on your furniture. Use machine oil or some colour shoe polish. 133. Make a good fingernail brush. Cut down the bristles of an old tooth brush. 134. Food for the whole litter (HOW). Use a muffin pan so the runts can have some. 135. Lengthen life of wooden clothespins. Boil then in salt solution. 136. Make a neat string dispenser. Nail a funnel to wall and pull string out of bottom of funnel. 137. Tips on storing plastic curtains. Sprinkle talcum powder between the layers as you go. 138. Basting made real easy (NEAT!). Just tape and sew around the pieces of tape. 139. How to revive old clothing. Shave those little fluffs off with a safety razor. 140. Make an emergency clothes brush. Wrap a piece of tape around the hand, sticky side out. 141. Stop clothes catching on hangers. Put a coat of clear nail polish over splinters and rough edges. 142. A needle sharpening pin cushion. Use a steel wool to fill your cushion, keeps needles sharp. 143. Make a good yarn preserver. Wrap yarn around a moth ball for storage. 144. Handy tips on cutting fur. Use a razor blade on back of fur when cutting, you won.t cut any hair. 145. Tips on sewing slippery material. Stick a piece of waxed paper in seam, pull away when finished. 146. Easy pick up of needle spills. Use a small magnet to pick up any needle spill. 147. Excellent knitting tips. Keep ball of yarn in nylon stocking, will flow out free of tangles. 148. How to get rid of shiny trousers. Make a solution of 1 part vinegar to 4 parts water, soak a cloth in it, wring out cloth put over trousers and press slightly. 149. When you need heavy duty thread. Use dental floss. 150. Make a handy tape measure. Just put tape around an old adhesive tape spool. 151. Prevent nylon from yellowing. Add some baking soda to wash and rinse water. 152. Make a perfect sock darner. Pull socks over a light bulb, makes it easy. 153. How to restore velvet like new. Brush good and then hang in steamy bathroom. 154. Get rid of knots on sweaters. Just rub a piece of sandpaper over sweater. 155. How to remove lint from wool. Use a damp sponge and touch lightly. 156. Caring for leather upholstery. Brush with skim milk every three months. 157. Repair scuffed patent leather. Cover with same colour polish, let dry then cover with clear nail polish. 158. Prevent patent leather cracking. Before each wearing, rub briskly with your hand, then a soft cloth. 159. Repair scuffed baby shoes. Rub shoe with white of an egg. 160. Tips on buying shoes Buy shoes in afternoon, feet tend to swell in the morning. 161. What to do when shoes get stiff Cut a raw potato and rub all over. They will come back to life. 162. Black suede shoes last longer. Wash with warm water then rub castor oil into leather. 163. How to soften leather shoes. Sponge with black coffee. 164. Remove salt rings from shoes. Brush with solution of vinegar and water. 165. Keep vegetables green while cooking. Lift the lid of the cooking vessel from time to time while cooking. 166. Get juice from dried up lemon. Boil it for a few minutes. 167. Quick onion rings. Onions slice more easily, if you leave skins on while slicing. 168. How to kill taste of olive oil. Add a touch of salt. 169. Good bread crumb substitute. Potato chips, corn chips or pretzels. 170. How to keep your berries fresh. Don.t wash until ready to use and keep in refrigerator until ready to use. 171. How to cut a soft pie. Use a buttered knife to cut through a soft pie. 172. How to cut a frosted cake. Rinse knife in hot water first each time you cut a slice. 173. How to make fluffy egg omelette. Add a teaspoon of corn starch when mixing eggs. 174. Keep dressing from going rancid. Put a spoon of sugar in it. 175. How to stop cabbage odours. Throw a couple of walnut kernels in pot while cooking. 176. When you need soft butter quick.. If your butter is frozen, grate it, it.s the same as soft butter. 177. How to keep cauliflower white. Pour a little milk in the water when boiling cauliflower. 178. When is the omelette done. When you press it lightly and it springs back. 179. Keep milk from scorching. Add a pinch of sugar while cooking and do not stir. 180. Cheese cutting tips. A dull knife is more successful than a sharp one. 181. When you need an extra egg. When you need an extra egg for a recipe add a little corn starch. 182. Peel onions without tears. Let water run over them while peeling. 183. The proper way to ripen fruit. Keep it out in open at room temperature. 184. How to pick fresh eggs. Old eggs are shin, fresh eggs are rough and have bumps. 185. How to cut acidity in coffee. Add a pinch of salt. 186. Good refrigerator deodoriser. Keep an open box of baking soda in it at all times. 187. What to do about grease spills. Pour ice water over it, it will lift off before it can soak in. 188. Make a good egg separator. Crack egg, put in small funnel, white will come through separated from yoke. 189. Reduce wilting of root vegetables. Cut off the tops as soon as you get them. 190. Keep vegetables fresh longer. Put paper towels in bottom of bin. It will absorb moisture which causes decay. 191. How to keep meat fresh looking. Cover the cut side with leaves of lettuce. 192. How to perk up wilted lettuce. Soak in cold water with a dash of lemon juice, cool in refrigerator for 30 minutes. 193. Make frozen vegetables fresh. Pour boiling water over them. Restores fresh taste. 194. The best way to slice onions. Freezing them first. 195. Keep beets and cabbage red. Add lemon juice or vinegar to the water. 196. Keep potatoes from sprouting. Store apples with them. 197. Get rid of cooking odours. Boil hand full of cloves in water for 30 minutes. All odours will disappear. 198. Truss poultry so it will stay. Use dental floss, it will not burn. 199. Tell when custard is done. Stick knife into custard, if it comes out clean, it is done 200. Tips for cutting hot cake. Use a thread, hold both ends tightly and lower through slowly. http://www.wendawatch.com/cookbookentries/index.html#bv000004 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookbookentries/index.html#bv000004 Radio Show Information 50 great Halloween Costume Ideas 1) Dress up as you normally do. If someone asks what you are, tell them you're a werewolf. If they ask why you have no hair or fangs, explain that it's not a full moon. 2) Get a bag of white balloons and a box. Put the box over your head and cut out holes for your arms. Paint the box a bright color and the word "soap" across it. Then tape the bubbles to the top of the box around your shoulders and head. 3) Tape a bunch of green or purple balloons all over yourself (wear green or brown clothing underneath). Go as a bunch of grapes. 4) Wear brown clothes. Get a package of fall silk leaves for decorating (you can get 50 in a pack for about a dollar at craft stores). Tape them all over your arms and on a hat. Get a stuffed bird and perch it on your head. Go as a tree. 5) Wrap yourself in a roll of orange felt. Cut armholes and put an orange ski cap on your head. Go as a carrot stick. 6) Safety-pin a bunch of cheap watches and costume jewelry on the inside of your coat. Go as a con man. 7) Get a large box and paint it white, green or tan. Make a hole at the top for your head and armholes. Glue on some magnets and some post-it notes with shopping lists and phone numbers. Go as a refrigerator. 8) Get a roll of orange yarn and a few bags of roasted pumpkin seeds. Glue them all over a cheap orange sweat suit. Go as pumpkin guts. 9) Wear a t-shirt displaying your favorite brand of booze. Get a foil pie plate, punch two holes in it at either end, and run string through it. Put it on your head like a hat and tie it. You're a bottle of your favorite drink. 10) Glue some (clean) garbage all over a sweat suit. Go as a trash heap. 11) Throw a white sheet over your head, and cut a hole for your head to come through. Wear a yellow hat and paint your face yellow with make up. Go as a fried egg. 12) Get a poster board, make up a funny advertisement and paint it on. Hang it around your neck and go as a billboard. 13) Put on your rattiest clothes and get a toy shopping cart. Fill it with junk. Go as a shopping cart/bag lady. 14) Dress like a mailman. Get a stuffed dog and sew it's mouth to your pant leg. 15) Get an gorilla costume. Get one of those headbands with the springs on it, but remove the silver balls from the end and glue on tiny toy air planes. Carry a little Barbie doll in an evening gown and you're King Kong. 16) Get a large box. Cut a hole for your head and arms. Wrap it with gift wrapping paper and put a big bow on your head. Make a large gift tag out of construction paper that says, "To: Women, From: God." This year, you can honestly say you're God's gift to women. 17) Wear all black and a pair of dark sunglasses, or glasses with a rubber nose. Get a strip of fabric you can fashion into a sash (like a beauty queens) and use fabric paint markers to write, "Bless you," across it. You're a blessing in disguise. 18) Get a box and paint it white. Make holes for your head and arms. Paint or draw black spots on it and go as a die. If you have a partner, make two and go as a pair of dice. 19) Get an old black sweat suit. Get yellow fabric paint and paint a double-line down the middle, vertically, front and back. Glue some tiny toy cars up and down your front and back and go as a highway. 20) Get a clear plastic bag, and a bag of assorted colored balloons. Step into the bag and make leg holes and arm holes. Fill it with balloons half-blown up, while you're still in it. Tie it off at the neck. Get a piece of paper as a label and write,"Jellybeans" across the front. You're a bag of jellybeans. 21) Get a bunch of Barbie dolls and a black sweat suit. Attach the dolls randomly all over the sweat suit. You're a babe magnet. 22) Get a medium sized box. Cut a hole at the bottom for your head, and a large, square opening in the front. Put pipe cleaners as antennas and glue soda bottle caps on as knobs. Put it over your head and wear all black. You're a TV announcer. 23) Wear a black sweat suit and randomly attach single socks all over your clothes. You're the sock thief from the drier. 24) Get some yellow yarn and brown pom-poms. Glue them all over an old sweat suit. Put an old colander over your head as a hat. Go as spaghetti and meat balls. 25) Wear a clown costume top and paint your face. Get a large box and paint it a bright color. Make a hole for your waist and put it on as if the bottom of a skirt. Go as a jack-in-the-box. 26) Glue a bunch of newspapers to old clothes. Go as paper mache in progress. 27) Get a bunch of small, single-serving sized cereal boxes. Glue them all over some old clothes and bring a big, rubber knife. Go as a cereal killer. 28) Get a box, cut arm holes and a hole for your head. Wrap it in pretty patterned gift paper. Stick a bunch of tissues coming out of the neck, and put on a hat covered with tissues glued all over it. Go as a box of tissues. 29) If you're very pregnant, paint your belly with orange face paint and draw a pumpkin face on the front. Wear a shirt that opens in front and just fasten it above the belly so the pumpkin protrudes. When you put your arms down around your belly, you'll look like you're carrying a jack-o-lantern. 30) Paint your car or bicycle tires with black paint. Lay old clothes front-down on the street and drive over them. Let them dry, put them on and go as road kill. 31) Tie a sneaker to the top of your head, wear all pink and paint your face pink. Go as a piece of gum. 32) Get two large pieces of foam and strap them to your shoulders so one hangs in front, the other in back. Stuff some lettuce leaves coming out of them (or green felt), and on the underside of one glue a big, round, red or brown piece of felt that sticks out of the sides. Go as a sandwich. 33) Get a round piece of cardboard and cut a hole in the center of it. Get a large foil tray and cut a hole in it, as well as a table cloth with a hole in it. Put the cardboard over your head, then the table cloth so it hangs over your body, then the tray. Place lettuce leaves coming out from around the neck hole. You're a head on a platter. 34) Wear a raggedy old pair of shorts and t-shirt, and go unshaven if your a man. Mess your hair up. Get a garden tiki torch from the party supply store. Go as a recent loser from Survivor. 35) Dress as a dog and put a cardboard cone around your neck to keep you from scratching for fleas. 36) Dress as a dog and carry a bottle of your favorite liquor-- you're a booze hound. 37) Glue cotton all over a light blue outfit and carry a water gun to squirt people. You're a rain cloud. 38) Get a pair of angle wings and put them on your back, dressed in your pajamas, fuzzy slippers and bathrobe. Carry around a coffee cup. Your the "Angel Of The Morning." 39) Cut out a cardboard shape like a surf board and cover it with fake spider webs. You're a web surfer. 40) Dress in a business suit and carry around a big jar filled half way up with thumb tacks. Go as the "tacks collector." 41) Get a devil costume and throw over it the ugliest thrift-store blue dress you can find. Be the, "Devil In A Blue Dress." 42) Tape a bunch of white colored balloons to a a skin-colored body suit. Wear a shower cap and carry a scrub brush. 43) Wrap your body in aluminum foil and top your head with a beret. You're a french kiss. 44) Get a rubber pig's nose and wrap yourself in a blanket. Go as a pig in a blanket. 45) Make a green pumpkin shape out of felt and hang it over yourself. Paint a face on it. Go as Jack O' Lantern. 46) Get a bag of moss from the craft store's floral isle. Glue it all over some old clothes and hat and go as a chia pet. 47) Pin underwear to your torso and go as a chest of drawers. 48) Dress like a cat; carry a black bag stuffed with fake jewels overflowing. You're a cat burglar. 49)Attach gum wrappers, small pieces of pink clay to represent gum, soda cups and popcorn bags and a few kernels of popcorn to a black sweat suit, and go as a theater floor. 50) Plaster yourself with name tags, using a different name on each, and go as a someone having an identity crisis. http://www.wendawatch.com/cookbookentries/index.html#bv000003 http://www.wendawatch.com/cookbookentries/index.html#bv000003 Radio Show Information out for laughs tour <center>%OUTMAP%</center> <!<s> iMapBuilder code starts </s>> <object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=9,0,115,0" width="400" height="300" align="middle"> <param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /> <param name="movie" value="imapbuilder/loader.swf" /> <param name="base" value="imapbuilder/" /> <param name="flashvars" value="datasource=out for laughs map.xml" /> <param name="loop" value="false" /> <param name="menu" value="true" /> <param name="quality" value="best" /> <param name="wmode" value="transparent" /> <param name="bgcolor" value="#ffffff" /> <embed src="imapbuilder/loader.swf" base="imapbuilder/" flashvars="datasource=out for laughs map.xml" loop="false" menu="true" quality="best" wmode="transparent" bgcolor="#ffffff" width="400" height="300" align="middle" allowScriptAccess="always" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed> </object> <!<s> iMapBuilder code ends </s>> http://www.wendawatch.com/deliveryhowtosee/index.html#bv000002 http://www.wendawatch.com/deliveryhowtosee/index.html#bv000002 See Wenda LIVE! A Tuna christmas <center>The boys are back and more hilarious than ever! Join us this Holiday Season for the laugh out loud sequel to "Greater Tuna" the award winning "A Tuna Christmas." All your favorites, Vera, Bertha, Arles, Thurston, Didi, Petey, Charlene, Stanley and more are back plus come meet some new citizens of Tuna! Tickets are on sale now and look for special dinner and show ticket Christmas gift packages coming soon. PLUS ring in the New Year with Tuna! A special late performance will be held New Year's Eve with a catered dance and cash bar after to welcome 2010 right on stage!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/deliveryhowtosee/index.html#bv000001 http://www.wendawatch.com/deliveryhowtosee/index.html#bv000001 See Wenda LIVE! Dr. Dentist <center>%DENTIST% </center> http://www.wendawatch.com/mypage1/index.html#bv000004 http://www.wendawatch.com/mypage1/index.html#bv000004 Here are some fun games from my mobile home park to yours! Hillbilly Hangman <center>The classic game for hours of fun, although some of ya'll may need a dictionary for this.</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/mypage1/index.html#bv000002 http://www.wendawatch.com/mypage1/index.html#bv000002 Here are some fun games from my mobile home park to yours! Wal Mart Bingo <center>I personally do not shop at the nightmare known as Wal Mart and hope you don't ever have to either. However if you are ever dragged there against your will here is a little game you can print out and take with you to pass the time!</center> <center>%WALMARTBINGO%</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/mypage1/index.html#bv000003 http://www.wendawatch.com/mypage1/index.html#bv000003 Here are some fun games from my mobile home park to yours! Horse Fly Invasion! <center>Its like Space Invaders only on the farm and the aliens is horse flies which to me are MUCH more pesky!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/mypage1/index.html#bv000001 http://www.wendawatch.com/mypage1/index.html#bv000001 Here are some fun games from my mobile home park to yours! Wenda on the Wadio Streaming Live on the Web <center>To hear my show with Honey Harris live on the web click the link. I am on every Tuesday from around 10 am until 10:30 am Mountain time! Tune in, ya hear??</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/wendaonthewadio/index.html#bv000003 http://www.wendawatch.com/wendaonthewadio/index.html#bv000003 Wenda on the Wadio Podcasts Mp3's to download <center>Well babies slowly but surely I am getting them up! If you scroll down you will find some of my wonderful visits to the incredible Honey Harris' show on KBAC She is such a doll! Here she is on a recent visit to my mobile home park Lazy Meadows! %HONEY% To download or just listen to the broadcasts just click on the big buttons below and presto! Wenda to your ears! Enjoy!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/wendaonthewadio/index.html#bv000004 http://www.wendawatch.com/wendaonthewadio/index.html#bv000004 Wenda on the Wadio Podcasts Wenda and ANT on The Honey Harris Show <center>Here is the wonderful comic ANT and I together on Honey's show. </center> http://www.wendawatch.com/wendaonthewadio/index.html#bv000009 http://www.wendawatch.com/wendaonthewadio/index.html#bv000009 Wenda on the Wadio Podcasts Wenda on the Wadio 9/02/08 <center>%MOVINGRADIO%</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/wendaonthewadio/index.html#bv000001 http://www.wendawatch.com/wendaonthewadio/index.html#bv000001 Wenda on the Wadio Podcasts Panel title Enter panel content here. http://www.wendawatch.com/wendaonthewadio/index.html#bv000010 http://www.wendawatch.com/wendaonthewadio/index.html#bv000010 Wenda on the Wadio Podcasts Santa Fe Playhouse <center>See what's on stage now at the oldest continually operating theater west of the Mississippi!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/chefsuggestions/index.html#bv000006 http://www.wendawatch.com/chefsuggestions/index.html#bv000006 Favorites links Lavender Lounge <center>This site and its fabulous owner Mark Kliem are to whom I owe it all, including The Diner. I am including the link to his video blog to get you started exploring this mega-site because there are some very funny videos included here. Once you have clicked around and seen some of the videos hop on over to the main site <a target="_blank" href="http://www.lavenderlounge.com">www.lavenderlounge.com</a> and get yourself a membership. Lots of fun things to see and do, including an episode or two of my old show! ADULT CONTENT NOTICE: Please know although Lavender Lounge is a fun, campy and wonderfully entertaining site it is geared to adults (especially the gay male types) and should only be viewed by those over 18 years old!</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/chefsuggestions/index.html#bv000002 http://www.wendawatch.com/chefsuggestions/index.html#bv000002 Favorites links Green Chile Kitchen Babies when you are out of New Mexico and just HAVE to have that green chile fix there just ain't no better place than San Francisco's own Green Chile Kitchen! The owner Trevor is such a prince and if you click on my dessert menu link, "Sweet Treats" you will see him and me havin' dinner on the ground as the very first ever Mr. and Miss Golden Gate. He's the Porter to my Dolly and can cook up a wicked Posole! http://www.wendawatch.com/chefsuggestions/index.html#bv000004 http://www.wendawatch.com/chefsuggestions/index.html#bv000004 Favorites links Bootleg Betty Honey now here is a site I can't go a DAY without checkin' on. The Divine Mr. D's Bette Midler fan site "Bootleg Betty" It has everything you could want in a site and more. Honey after gettin' the Diner up and running I have a new found awe for his prowess as a wonderful webmaster. His site is not only informative and fun, its down right entertaining! Drop by and see! http://www.wendawatch.com/chefsuggestions/index.html#bv000005 http://www.wendawatch.com/chefsuggestions/index.html#bv000005 Favorites links The Divine Mister D Honey the man has so many irons in the fire I don't know how he does it! Enjoy his personal page here. http://www.wendawatch.com/chefsuggestions/index.html#bv000003 http://www.wendawatch.com/chefsuggestions/index.html#bv000003 Favorites links Betty Butterfield The down right funniest woman in the Mobile Home Park! I swear I have paid $10 for a big Hollywood 2 hour comedy and didn't laugh nearly as hard as I do watchin' this old gal. I included one here where the old gal weighs in on Election 2008, but be sure and visit her site and watch 'em all! %BETTY% http://www.wendawatch.com/chefsuggestions/index.html#bv000008 http://www.wendawatch.com/chefsuggestions/index.html#bv000008 Favorites links Harpie's Bizarre Bewitched Fan Site There is no greater television show in history than "Bewitched" and for hours of entertainment pop on over to Harpies Bizarre and relish in the magic of it all! http://www.wendawatch.com/chefsuggestions/index.html#bv000001 http://www.wendawatch.com/chefsuggestions/index.html#bv000001 Favorites links Trannyshack The longest running freak show in San Francisco! The amazing Heklina and her cast of crannys (crazy trannys?) are there for you every Tuesday at midnight. Well. . . for now. Better hurry the show ends soon! http://www.wendawatch.com/chefsuggestions/index.html#bv000009 http://www.wendawatch.com/chefsuggestions/index.html#bv000009 Favorites links Employee of The Month <center>I wanted to show ya'll my dear friend Darron Dunbar. Not only has he been sweet enough to create, design and maintain my website and make all of my weekly posters ya'll see here but he is quite a talented actor, comedian, event planner and graphic designer. If you might like to hire him to do some work for you you can contact him at darron.dunbar@yahoo.com! %HEADSHOTS%</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/mypage/index.html#bv000002 http://www.wendawatch.com/mypage/index.html#bv000002 Employee of The Month Bruce Vilanch and Me! Here I am meeting the Divine Bruce Vilanch in Palm Springs. Such a sweet lovely man! http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page1.html#bv000024 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page1.html#bv000024 Random Pics! ANT and Me! The hilarious comic ANT and I backstage before his set for Santa Fe Pride. Not enough can be said about what a great guy this fella is! http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page2.html#bv000025 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page2.html#bv000025 Random Pics! Wenda_and_Barbra 2.jpg <center>If you get a chance to see The edwards twins live-go!! The are absolutely the best impersonation show i have ever seen.</center> http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page3.html#bv000066 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page3.html#bv000066 Random Pics! Mink Stole and me! The wonderfully sweet and generous Mink Stole at a benefit for Human Rights Alliance I threw at Salon Del Mar! ADORE her! http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page4.html#bv000012 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page4.html#bv000012 Random Pics! Me, Anthony Edwards Honey Harris and friends Here we are after the edwards twins show. Honey harris and I were lucky enough to introduce them and interview them for the radio and they are absolutely brilliant and so very, very nice. If you get a chance to see them in las vegas do so. their talent is mind boggling! http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page5.html#bv000065 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page5.html#bv000065 Random Pics! Lauren Hilderbrandt and me I can't see without my glasses! If I could I would have never stood this close to this skinny little thing. I'll tell you one thing, this girl is professional, sweet and can sing like no one's business! Look out for her world! Check out her song "Boy Shorts" Love it! http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page6.html#bv000027 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page6.html#bv000027 Random Pics! me, Mayor Coss and his wife Carol Me in my understated prom dress with my old pal and, I gotta say hell of a guy, Mayor DAVID cOSS AND HIS LOVELY WIFE cAROL. http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page7.html#bv000062 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page7.html#bv000062 Random Pics! Heklina and Me Here I am doing my farewell number for Heklina at the Trannyshack closing. LOVE HER! http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page8.html#bv000026 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page8.html#bv000026 Random Pics! me and stella REED THE WONDERFUL, PATIENT, HILARIOUS AND JUST ALL ROUND GREAT PERSON MISS STELLA REED! I JUST LOVE THIS LADY! http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page9.html#bv000064 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page9.html#bv000064 Random Pics! pROM dRESS yOUR CHAPARONE FOR THE SOUTHWEST CARE CENTER'S PROM YOU ALWAYS WANTED: WENDA WATCH! http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page10.html#bv000063 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page10.html#bv000063 Random Pics! Polyester As Francine Fishpaw with the Pizza Boy at Wenda Watch's Camp Cinema Showing of Polyester http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page12.html#bv000041 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page12.html#bv000041 Random Pics! As divine with Mink Stole At the showing of "Pink Flamingo's" at Wenda Watch's Camp Cinema http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page13.html#bv000014 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page13.html#bv000014 Random Pics! Pretty in Pink! That's as good as she get's ya'll! A girl can dream about being a supermodel but even with Hollywood's top make up and hair artist she often turns out looking like a fat Fran Drescher. Oh well. http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page15.html#bv000013 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page15.html#bv000013 Random Pics! Wenda Spam Postcard The one that started it all http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page16.html#bv000008 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page16.html#bv000008 Random Pics! Caught in the curtains Up against the wall at Tilly's! http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page17.html#bv000009 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page17.html#bv000009 Random Pics! Greatest Show on Earth Pride '09 All eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circus! http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page19.html#bv000058 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page19.html#bv000058 Random Pics! Pride '08 Why, I am the very embodiment of Pride! (And my hair has a hard-on!) http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page21.html#bv000037 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page21.html#bv000037 Random Pics! Don't bring around a cloud . . . . The closest to Miss America I will ever come! Pride '08 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page23.html#bv000036 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page23.html#bv000036 Random Pics! The SF Pride '08 Prize Winnin' float! I'll be durned if we didn't win 1st Prize! http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page24.html#bv000035 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page24.html#bv000035 Random Pics! Me and Robo Pride '08 Such a cutie! http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page26.html#bv000033 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page26.html#bv000033 Random Pics! Wenda Goes Hollywood! Here I am in Russell Latham's hair chair! His sister Carol is a dear friend of mine and one of the Ho Ho Ho's! She is in the Christmas pic below on my left. http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page27.html#bv000011 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page27.html#bv000011 Random Pics! You gotta have friends Pride '08 Mary Jane Sweets, Lolly and Wenda the Good Witch http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page28.html#bv000032 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page28.html#bv000032 Random Pics! Guava Chiffon Pride '08 The bitch ALWAYS looks good! http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page29.html#bv000031 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page29.html#bv000031 Random Pics! All aboard! '08 Me gettin' on the Pride Train to Lamy http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page30.html#bv000028 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page30.html#bv000028 Random Pics! Makin' the line up for the Wise Fool "Raise the Rent" show Me and the Zuni Faeries and Miss Guava all got to perform for Wise Fool helpin' them raise some money to pay the rent on this amazing space. http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page31.html#bv000021 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page31.html#bv000021 Random Pics! Guava, I don't have room for you to do 6 numbers! This line up is a mess! For a bunch of mimes they sure have alot to say! http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page32.html#bv000022 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page32.html#bv000022 Random Pics! Make up Monk! Helpin' a sister out. The wonderful Monk from Zuni gets purty for the show. http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page33.html#bv000023 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page33.html#bv000023 Random Pics! SPAM! Say what you will but a fried Spam sandwich on white bread with mayonnaise and a glass of cherry Kool-Aid is just damn good eatin'! http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page34.html#bv000001 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page34.html#bv000001 Random Pics! Mr and Miss Golden Gate The first ever crowned Mr and Miss Golden Gate Park. Dinner on the ground at the crowning ceremony. http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page35.html#bv000002 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page35.html#bv000002 Random Pics! Pretty pretty? Some of the many looks I sported while hosting "On Q Live" at QTN. http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page36.html#bv000004 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page36.html#bv000004 Random Pics! Damn gas prices! Couldn't afford the gas for a trip this summer but couldn't stay home another minute so this is what Burl came up with. It wasn't too bad except when I had to peddle up hills and then I made him wake up and get out and push. http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page37.html#bv000039 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page37.html#bv000039 Random Pics! Who's Who? A picture from my most favorite show ever. This is a "Do Unto Others" show back when I had my regular gig at Harvey's in San Francisco. All of us girls picked a queen and imitated her. That is actually my dearest love Gypsy Callabrese dressed as me. http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page39.html#bv000005 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page39.html#bv000005 Random Pics! Me as Gypsy At the "Do Unto Others" show at Harvey's here I am as my idol Gypsy Callabrese. http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page40.html#bv000003 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page40.html#bv000003 Random Pics! Empress and Lady: Cockatelia Honey I can guarantee that is Jager spilling out of the corners of her mouth! I was the Countessa of Jager, Midler and Madness for her court so I KNOW! http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page41.html#bv000016 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page41.html#bv000016 Random Pics! Gypsy Callabrese MY dear aunty Gypsy. I miss you every day! http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page42.html#bv000010 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page42.html#bv000010 Random Pics! Superstar Cockatelia! A dear friend and a mentor. She was the first girl to really step up and say "Wenda honey, if you are going to be a star you are just going to have to wash out that wig now and again!" Taught me so much! http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page43.html#bv000015 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page43.html#bv000015 Random Pics! Wenda Witched! From the "Magic Happens" campaign. Jim Jetskey did the art. So talented. http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page44.html#bv000006 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page44.html#bv000006 Random Pics! Prom Night We splurged and rented this for Little Ray Ray's Prom. I know we spoil him but he is the baby. http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page45.html#bv000046 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page45.html#bv000046 Random Pics! ho ho ho's The "Ho Ho Ho's" backstage while filming out Christmas special "Country Fried Christmas" http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page46.html#bv000007 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page46.html#bv000007 Random Pics! Pablo friend and fry cook I do SO want ya'll to get to know the staff here at The Hot Dish Diner so please meet Pablo fry cook extraordinaire! http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page47.html#bv000017 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page47.html#bv000017 Random Pics! Grandpa Even from the beginning he loved a good smoke and a good chicken. Hell, we buried him with a pack of Lucky's and his favorite bandy rooster. Shame too. Them's good eatin'! http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page48.html#bv000038 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page48.html#bv000038 Random Pics! One festive night out as The Divine Miss M I will never forget it ya know! http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page49.html#bv000018 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page49.html#bv000018 Random Pics! Early modeling job Before the kids and poverty I was actually on my way as a spokes model. That's what I get for believing Burl when he said a plastic baggy and a rubberband would work just as well as a condom. http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page50.html#bv000045 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page50.html#bv000045 Random Pics! The Showgirl Is ON! "Always find you light. They can't love ya if they can't see ya!" --Bette Midler The Showgirl Must Go On. http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page51.html#bv000020 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page51.html#bv000020 Random Pics! Cousin Billy out protestin' See not all "white trash" is ignorant of the issues. We're just broke! http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page53.html#bv000040 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page53.html#bv000040 Random Pics! High School '67 I was raised being told "The higher the hair, the closer to God" and honey I believed 'em! http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page54.html#bv000047 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page54.html#bv000047 Random Pics! High School '70 Oh Lord the '70's. I got a little radical with the Women's Movement. http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page55.html#bv000048 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page55.html#bv000048 Random Pics! Cousin Earlie The boy never has been right. http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page56.html#bv000043 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page56.html#bv000043 Random Pics! Greater Tuna Me playin' Bertha Buemiller in Greater Tuna. That is Landon Starnes playin' my daughter Charlene. Yes! That is a man dressed up as a woman. Hilarious I know! http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page57.html#bv000049 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page57.html#bv000049 Random Pics! Pearl and Stanley Here I am playin Aunt Pearl with my nephew Stanley. http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page61.html#bv000052 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page61.html#bv000052 Random Pics! BBQ! Waitin' for some BBQ in Lamy! 2009 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page64.html#bv000060 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page64.html#bv000060 Random Pics! Pride on the Plaza '08 Me doin' somethin' http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page66.html#bv000030 http://www.wendawatch.com/topic2/page66.html#bv000030 Random Pics! Heklina and Matthew Martin Thank God you don't need an ID at Backroads Pizza! Fun for the whole family! http://www.wendawatch.com/trannyshacksouth/page8.html#bv000006 http://www.wendawatch.com/trannyshacksouth/page8.html#bv000006 Tranny-Insanity Pics